May sleep come
by Djap
Summary: BETAD Jack x Ianto, Jack sleeps for once but neither Jack nor Ianto react very good on it.


**MAY SLEEP COME**

**A TORCHWOOD FANFICTION**

**PAIRING: **Ianto Jones x Jack Harkness

**AUTHOR**: Djap

**RATING**: PG13 – for suggestions and kissing

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own the boys and I won't make any money with them. Promise.

**BETA: **Neenabluegirl – thanks for your help and your great work

**LANGUAGE**: English

**GENRE**: Romance, Established Relationship

…

**May sleep come**

**a Djap story**

…

Ianto was standing in his kitchen, wearing only boxers and a tee. He was preparing breakfast and humming to the music, which only he could hear in his head. Besides that he was exceedingly content with his life right now and that had to do with the man currently dragging his feet along his way to the kitchen.

"Good morning!" Ianto finally singsonged, putting the cooked eggs on a tray.

"Mornin'."

Jack sounded disorientated and was rubbing his eyes tiredly. Like Ianto himself, Jack was only wearing boxers and a tee and looked utterly adorable in them. The show of modesty surprised Ianto a little, as Jack usually never bothered with clothes right after sex. He'd shocked Ianto's neighbors more than once standing nude in front of a window, but the young Welsh had finally stopped being bothered about it. Jack was a sight to behold after all and Ianto usually preferred to see him in the nude than clothed and what if his neighbors knew he was shagging such a gorgeous creature? Let them be scandalized and jealous and be done with it.

"You can stay in bed. Breakfast's ready in a few, I'll bring it."

"I slept." Jack stated without further preamble and looked utterly, terribly lost.

Ianto smiled fondly. "I noticed. You were cute drooling on my pillow."

"I haven't slept in years." Jack pointed out after rolling his eyes.

"I know." Back with the sing-songing.

Jack looked as if he wanted to strangle him, so Ianto made a move to save his life.

Quickly he lifted a cup of perfect coffee from the tray and went over to greet his lover properly. He leaned in to kiss him good morning but Jack pulled back with a grimace. Ianto instantly looked hurt but Jack hurried to explain "Feel gross. Haven't brushed my teeth yet." Then his nostrils flared as the smell of the coffee hit them. He made a grab for the cup and took a cautious sip. Then he sighed and took a second sip, the tense muscles in his body suddenly relaxing.

Ianto smiled again and went back to work on the breakfast.

"There's a new tooth brush in the bathroom. I put it on the shelf for you."

Jack blinked irritated and finished his coffee, as if his life depended on it. He put the cup into the sink and shrugged "Okay." Then he was off to the bathroom for a decent tooth brushing session and a preferably very hot shower.

…

When Jack came back to finally kiss his own personal Welsh good morning his breath was minty and the familiar smirk was back in place.

"You're making us breakfast in bed?"

"Obviously. It would work better if my partner would still be in bed though."

"That can be arranged." And Jack was off again back to the bedroom.

…

Thankfully Ianto was used to navigate his way around the hub with trays in his hand or he would never have made his way to his bedroom with breakfast still intact. But he managed and he moaned softly at the sight he got as reward.

Jack was back in bed and with that back to wearing nothing but skin. Ianto swallowed hard as that sight never failed to arouse him even to the most inappropriate times and this time was even worse, as he saw Jack for the first time in morning light.

Usually they met in the evenings after work and if they had a quick intermezzo during the day they did it at the hub in between work. So he knew Jack nude only in the light of afternoon or evening, which was really bad in his flat and until this day Jack had always been gone by morning, when Ianto woke up. At first it had hurt Ianto, but he knew that Jack didn't sleep and must have been bored out of his mind lying here beside him with nothing to do, while he quietly slept the sleep of the just got laid. After really good sex there was nothing that could wake him up – except perhaps the end of world - which certainly would be his undoing one day.

And greater was Ianto's surprise when he woke this morning to find Jack still plastered against his backside, hugging him tight and actually snoring into his ear. It had been pure bliss and Ianto had, despite his usual manner, stayed in bed for half an hour longer just to enjoy the feeling of closeness to the man he'd learned to love, even if he knew he would never tell him that much.

Jack was wearing his seductive smirk and Ianto was close to ignoring his rumbling stomach and just dive in for another round. But then, he didn't. Instead he diligently put the breakfast tray between them on the sheets as kind of a barrier and started in on the food.

"What, you can really eat with this sight?" Jack finally asked mockingly with an incredulous stare, but also grabbed his toast and started buttering it. Jack might not need to sleep or eat, but he seemed to like the latter just fine and Ianto knew that. Jack also had a sweet tooth as he'd discovered one night with Jack and a pot of melted chocolate that had mostly been in contact with Ianto's skin before it had been consumed. He drooled a little in reminiscence of that before focusing back on his own breakfast.

"What can I say? You wore me out last night. You're like that energizer bunny and I'm not. I need the carbohydrates."

Jack just grinned and took a sip of his second cup of perfect coffee. The rest of the meal lapsed into silence, which wasn't unusual for them. They seldom talked while eating or working together and restricted themselves to the really important conversations. At first Ianto had been bothered by this, because former girlfriends had made him aware that in their opinions he was often too quiet, but Jack actually seemed to relish in his silences.

So it came as a bit of a surprise as Jack suddenly started talking after finishing his breakfast. His voice clearly showed that he was back in that strange mood in which he'd been right after waking up in Ianto's bed.

"I still can't believe I actually slept."

"You never told me why you stopped sleeping one day." Ianto pointed out trying to sound casual about it despite his curiosity.

"I know."

Ianto sighed. He was used to that kind of answers from Jack. The older man hated to reveal things about his past and usually Ianto could understand why. Whenever Jack told them bits and pieces of his life before Torchwood and especially about the time when they all hadn't been born yet, it seemed to disunite them because it just helped to emphasize how special and how different Jack was from everybody else.

Ianto could still see how much this whole situation was bothering Jack and now he actually felt bad for enjoying it so much. He knew who Jack was before they started this relationship and he really shouldn't ask for things Jack couldn't give him, if he was already giving him so much other things. Wanting more was greedy.

Still, something in Ianto's face must have shown his feelings and Jack's brows furrowed.

"I'm sorry I never stayed for the night before. I…"

Ianto interrupted him by lifting his hand and looking to the side, his words sounding carefully neutral.

"No. Don't be. It's my fault. I knew that you didn't sleep, so it shouldn't have bothered me in the first place. I learned to deal with it."

"But I _did _sleep here last night." Jack pointed out annoyed as he hated to get interrupted.

"We already established that." Ianto's answer sounded sarcastic as he locked gazes with Jack, his face blank.

This time it was Jack's turn to sigh.

"Ianto, please. I'm trying to tell you something."

"Look, I really don't want to hear it." Ianto sounded pained. He started collecting the rest of the breakfast to put it back on the tray.

"You don't want to hear why I stopped sleeping?"

Jack could clearly see that Ianto wondered if he should lie. But his answer sounded honest though.

"No, I don't want to know the reason why you didn't stay."

"You know that I work at…"Jack started, but was cut off again.

"See? I told you I didn't want to know. This is such a stupid excuse. My computer is connected to the hub; you could have worked here, as the channel is secluded and safe. And before you even start in on your nightly working out at the gym schedule, please spare me. We both know that you could have done that at my living room or at the park nearby and return afterwards."

"You seem to have pinned down my motives well enough." Jack sounded angry and annoyed and Ianto was surprised at the intensity of the words "So pray tell me, why do you think I don't stay at your apartment?"

"Because you didn't want to give me the impression this could be a serious relationship. You didn't want to get my hopes up about this, as this is just some way to relax for you and nothing else."

Ianto's voice sounded flat and very sad, but also defiant, as if he dared Jack to contradict.

Sadly, Jack couldn't. He would have lied, to spare Ianto the bad feelings, but in the face of the young Welsh's intelligence and his quiet demeanor he just couldn't bring himself to do it. The matter was more complex though, although he wasn't sure if he was honest with himself. As he didn't say anything, Ianto's shoulders dropped as the time passed. Finally, the young Welsh finished packing the tray and stood.

"Don't worry about sleeping here, Jack. I won't think wrongly about your lapse. If you excuse me now, I think I need a shower, because my boss expects me at work in about an hour."

"Ianto, I…" Jack started, but again he didn't get far.

"Let's just pretend we never had this conversation, okay? I'm really not in the mood."

With that he left for the bathroom and when he returned from the shower to his bedroom, a towel around his hips, Jack was already gone.

Ianto sighed but tried not to think too hard about it. He was, after all, used to Jack being gone in the mornings.

…

What Ianto wasn't used to was Jack showing him the cold shoulder. Jack was a teaser, someone who always flirted because he liked it, but when Ianto reached the hub there was nothing of Jack's usual behavior to spot, at least not directed at Ianto. He acted just the same with the other members of the team, but he barely spoke a word to Ianto if it wasn't needed.

Ianto felt the lump in his throat and his stomach knotting up, but he refused to show any reaction. He even smiled at Gwen's look full of sympathy as she easily picked up on their anomalous behavior around each other. Afterwards Ianto found himself down at the tourist shop staring unseeing in front of him and fighting tears.

Why couldn't he have kept his damn mouth shut anyway? Why hadn't he seen this coming? Why hadn't he just made sure Jack woke up and left like usually? Just because he'd been greedy, he'd lose the man now. He should have known that Jack would end their arrangement as soon as he felt trapped in it. How could Ianto believe he would be able to tame such a free spirit?

His paper work blurred in front of his eyes and salty tears smeared the ink. He couldn't work like this. He was a mess. His hands were shivering too much he couldn't even navigate his way on the computer. And here he was always congratulating himself on how professional he always was on work.

Well he couldn't save Lisa either and now he'd lose Jack too. Where did that leave him? There was no place for him at Torchwood anymore. He was just the tea-boy anyway.

…

It was Gwen who realized at first that Ianto was gone. She had gone downstairs to talk to him, because she wanted to make him feel better. Jack could be so complicated sometimes and she wasn't sure if she could help him at all, but she disliked seeing anyone in pain.

When she reached Ianto's desk she found the still wet papers with the smeared ink and the note, filled with shaky looking lines of Ianto's usual scribble.

She felt red hot rage as she read the note and practically ran upstairs to shout at Jack, whom she found in the hothouse:

"What the hell did you do to him?"

"What?" Jack was startled as he wasn't used to get shouted at by Gwen. At least not at this time of the day at the hub.

"What did you do to poor Ianto?"

Jack's face spoke of anger as he answered.

"It's none of your business, Gwen."

"No, it isn't, but _this _is." She threw the note at him and waited until he'd read the few words. She could see how scandalized Jack really was as he read them and that made things at least a little better.

"That idiot." Jack finally muttered sounding scared and hurt, which made Gwen feel at least a little sympathetic. But still!

"I'm pretty sure you've also been an idiot in this." She said and didn't even mean it unkindly. She just wanted him to see reason, but he was already nodding at her words. Then he grabbed his keys and dashed for the exit, leaving without as much as a good bye.

Gwen just hoped he'd reach Ianto in time.

…

Jack was cursing himself when he navigated way too fast through the difficult traffic of Cardiff. He was definitely old enough to handle these situations better and he should have told Ianto the truth from the beginning. But Jack had been afraid and Ianto had been right to believe he just didn't want their relationship to grow too close. Just his motives had been different from what Ianto thought and Jack had known that all along but still had said nothing.

When he reached Ianto's building, Jack practically flew upstairs to the young Welsh's flat. There Jack cursed again, as he realized that he should have taken the damn key Ianto had offered him right at the beginning of their relationship. The fact that he'd declined that offer added now to his stupidity in this, as was the truly delusional idea that some space between them and acting colder than usual would help settle the situation between them. He should have known Ianto would interpret it wrongly and think Jack wanted to break up.

So he settled for panting and pounding harshly on the door as he hoped Ianto hadn't been able to leave yet. He couldn't have been gone for long when Gwen found the note and Ianto probably thought that nobody cared anyway whether he left or stayed.

Nobody reacted on his poundings though, so Jack took some steps back and rammed the door open with his shoulder. Inside the flat he could instantly seen in what a hurry Ianto had been though. Usually the young Welsh was such a neat freak, usually there was practically nothing out of order in his living space or office. Now clothes lay strewn around, drawers were pulled open which nobody had cared to close again. Even papers were lying around just as if Ianto had been looking for the most important ones before throwing them in a suitcase.

Jack finally found Ianto in the bathroom. He was frantically searching for something in the closet when Jack entered the room and only the stiffening of posture showed that Ianto acknowledged his presence in any way. Ianto stopped rummaging around and finally spoke, his voice sounding raspy and very raw.

"Go away. I don't want to see you."

Jack was at a loss how he should make this right again. Feeling helpless he settled for "Ianto, look at me."

Ianto made a sound that may have been a snort if his throat wasn't so hurt already.

"You can't order me around anymore, _Jack_." over-pronouncing the use of name instead of title "I just quit the job."

"Please, Ianto!" and Jack wanted to take some steps in Ianto's direction and pull him into his arms, because damn it, Ianto was hurting. But Jack stood frozen in place because Ianto looked ready to bolt at the slightest wrong move on his side.

Ianto finally turned around and Jack involuntarily flinched as he looked at Ianto's face. He must have been crying for hours by now. He'd only seen him like this once when he'd failed to save his girlfriend.

"What the hell are you doing here, Jack?" Ianto rasped sounding very tired.

"What do you think?" Jack asked back because he had no idea where to start this conversation.

An annoyed look crossed Ianto's face "There is no reason why you'd want me to stay. So let me go."

Suddenly Jack was furious, because he couldn't believe that Ianto actually would imply this much unprofessionalism on Jack's side.

"Don't even start with me like that, Ianto. We both know that you're a great junior researcher and you know how to work your way around aliens on this planet. That's why I wanted you on the team."

Again this raspy half-snort, then Ianto's broken voice filled with self-pity "I'm just the tea-boy."

Now Jack made the few steps and bridged the remaining distance between their bodies. His left hand touched Ianto's shoulder as to shake some sense into the man, his right going for Ianto's chin, so he couldn't look away at Jack's next words.

"We need you, Ianto. We all do but most of all _I _need you."

"You could probably charm a stone, Jack." Ianto spat back "Don't be ridiculous. Why would you need someone like me around?"

Jack couldn't believe what he was hearing. This was even worse than he thought. "You really think so low of me? That I only wanted to fuck you and when I get bored I'd throw you away?"

Ianto's face hardened as he visibly steeled himself for the next words "No, not bored. But scared by intimacy. And I was right."

"No, you weren't!" Jack yelled, now really shaking Ianto's shoulder. As a result Ianto lifted both his hands, which had been loosely hanging at his sides before and used them to push Jack away with force, who stumbled and landed very ungracefully on his backside.

"Why else would you refuse to talk to me? You wanted to get out. But I'm not you Jack. I can't just go on like this. It hurts too much."

"You really believe it wouldn't interest me if you left right now?"

Ianto swallowed but nodded earnestly while Jack just stared at him.

"Yes, you find me attractive enough to shag me. I get that. But you never once made the impression you wanted anything else from me. The only thing we ever do besides shagging is work, Jack. Did you really think I wouldn't realize that?"

"It's just the way I am, Ianto."

"No, it's the way you are around me. And I accepted that months ago, but only because I could at least have you for a while. I knew it wouldn't last. But I didn't realize how much it would hurt. I thought I was stronger. Well, I'm weak, we already knew that." Ianto sounded way too bitter for someone still so young as he added "Now go."

"Ianto." Jack tried, but was quickly interrupted.

"No. Go away."

"_NO!" _Jack suddenly yelled at the top of his lungs. "You won't do that to me again. I only didn't talk to you today because I was angry that you refused to talk to me this morning. I wanted to explain, but you never let me."

Ianto stared at him surprised and blinking. "What?"

Jack took a calming breath and forced himself to talk slowly and much quieter.

"Look, how are we supposed to work things between us out when you always refuse to talk to me about the important things? You always make me go away and interpret my behavior like you want. Today I just decided to turn the tables and fight you with your own weapons. I didn't think it would backfire like this."

Silence fell between them, loud like a passing train. Ianto just stared at him unblinkingly, eyes still ruby red and mouth slightly hanging open. Finally Ianto found a question to ask.

"So you didn't want our relationship to end?"

"Of course not." Jack sighed. "And I really wanted to tell you why I stopped sleeping. You just didn't want to listen."

"But why did you never stay then?

"Because I wasn't sure I'd be welcome. I thought you were just hurting after the incident with Lisa and would move on as soon you'd find someone better suited for you than me." Jack confessed, sounding strange and weak and altogether lost.

"But we've been together for so long, Jack. It's been nearly a year. That goes way beyond gratitude for saving me or beyond feeling lonely and lost." Ianto pointed out as he was the one now utterly surprised by the turn of events.

Jack shrugged uncomfortable, looking away. "I thought you just enjoyed me being good in bed." For once the Captain wasn't posing or overestimating, just stating a fact. He _was _good in bed, he had years of practice after all.

"Yes, you are." Despite Ianto's tiredness and raw eyes and voice he had to smile mischievously as he acknowledged this. "But I would still be sleeping with you if you were really bad at it."

"You wouldn't." Jack teased but the small smile on his lips didn't really reach his eyes yet, so Ianto made some small steps in his direction and lifted a hand to Jack's face.

"I would. I want you Jack. I don't know why, but I really do. I wouldn't survive if you'd lie to me now."

Ianto was all honest and scared so Jack pulled his lover in a strong embrace as he started to shiver involuntarily.

"I stopped sleeping because of the nightmares." He quietly stated, finally telling the truth behind all this. Ianto returned the hug and nodded slightly, urging him on to continue, while he stroked soothingly over Jack's back. "They just wouldn't go away so I started to be scared of sleeping. But I figured, that when I wore myself out enough I probably could sleep without dreaming."

"But it didn't work out." Ianto said and Jack nodded.

"I just didn't get tired anymore without the usual sleep rhythm and I couldn't bring myself to force sleep."

"But you slept last night."

"Yes."

"Why?" Ianto asked in wonder as he already seemed to know the answer.

"Because I felt safe enough. I didn't even decide consciously to sleep." Jack shrugged "It just happened." Then he remembered Ianto's words at breakfast and repeated them now. "Perhaps you wore _me _out last night, not the other way around. All I know is that I haven't been this relaxed in years and its all thanks to you."

The talking was over for now as Ianto finally pulled back a little to celebrate their reconciliation with a thorough kiss. Jack was happy to oblige and only much later, when they lay in bed glowing with the energy of their latest orgasm, Ianto realized something that made him hide his burning face in Jack's neck.

"What is it?"

"Nothing."

"You do realize that I want that key to your flat you offered earlier and that I will stay overnight in the future, right?" Jack inquired sounding very earnest.

"As soon as I've changed the lock you just damaged some hours ago." Ianto answered, sounding amused.

"Hey, that wasn't my fault. You wouldn't open the damn door. If that wasn't the problem, what else is it?"

"…"

"I won't let you do this to me anymore, Ianto. Talk to me!" To take the sting out of his words Jack added teasingly "or I'll tickle the truth out of you."

Ianto chuckled softly against Jack's shoulder before amending "Fine. It's Owen."

"What is with him? And why the hell are you thinking about him now with me in your bed?"

"Because he'll never let me live this down."

Jack was confused "What do you mean?"

"Me going all drama queen just because I thought we broke up."

Jack smirked. "That may be right, but I don't think that will be the worst. You didn't hear the talking Gwen gave me, when she found your note. She'll probably mother hen you from now on until the end of your life."

Jack chuckled at Ianto's answering groan, deciding it was time for round two anyway.

…

**Endless End**

**Finished 25****th****September 2010**


End file.
